marriage

Katy Faust Fiercely Explains Why God’s Design for Family Matters

Katy Faust, founder and president of Them Before Us, sat down with Jordan Peterson on his show to talk about what family form serves children and humanity best and why. Faust, a Seattle mother of four and a pastor’s wife, explained to Dr. Peterson right off the bat, saying,

“I will just state right up front, I am a Bible-thumping, evangelical to the max. You want evangelical credentials, I got you.”

She then explains how she became a public instigator for the sake of children and the family. Faust told the world-famous psychology professor she is a grace-giver by temperament, but she learned how to become a bold truth-teller when she saw various political and ideological groups trying to redefine the family in order to serve radical adult desires.

Peterson explains “Katy comes down pretty hard on both the religious and biological side” of family, “arguing, and I think rightly so, that there isn’t an ideal that can replace long term, committed, monogamous, child-centered, heterosexual marriage.”

He added, “If you accept the doctrine that what is good for children is good for adults and for the state, then institutions that focus on the flourishing of children, those institutions have to be foundational and prioritized.” Of course, he is speaking of the first institution God created and prioritized: the family.

Watch Faust’s very strong defense of the natural family:

It is well worth watching in full. There are many things that are extremely helpful, encouraging and informative about this in-depth interview. But one of the most truly interesting is watching a very smart Chrisitan mom and pastor’s wife explain to one of the most influential intellectuals in the world why mothers and fathers, lifelong marriage and biology are essential to the family, children and society.

Viewers see these important realizations appear on Dr. Peterson’s face, in real time, as Faust explains some very basic human facts to him about God’s design for humanity and the family.

Kudos to Katy Faust for this masterful and instructive feat.

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Liberal Women are Sadder Than Conservatives: Less Faith, Fewer Marriages?

It is fairly well-documented in the academic literature that women suffer poorer mental health compared to men and this is generally true cross-culturally. It is also well documented that conservatives tend to have greater mental health and happiness compared to liberals. This gap has been demonstrated since the 1970s.

Additional research shows that girls who lean more left politically are experiencing plummeting levels of mental health. A new report, highlighted by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), indicates this trend is not diminishing, but growing more stark.

It is tragic.

IFS explains “Young liberal women are markedly less satisfied with life than their conservative peers.”

  • 37% of conservative women report being “completely satisfied” with life.
  • 28% of moderates indicated this.
  • Only 12% of liberal women reported being completely satisfied.

This means young conservative women are just over three times more likely to feel very happy in their lives than their liberal peers. IFS adds, “Moreover, liberal women are two to three times more likely to report they are ‘not satisfied’ with their lives, compared to conservative women.”

Journalist Matthew Yglesias has an idea for what causes this disparity, saying, “One possible culprit for this widespread sadness is that social media apps are especially damaging to girls’ psychological health, a thesis long championed by Jonathan Haidt.”

But this does not fully explain the stark conservative/liberal divide. IFS thinks there is more to the story, explaining,

Given that we’re “social animals,” as Aristotle noted, we think different levels of “social integration” between liberal and conservative young women also may have a hand in the happiness divide between the two groups.

They explain how young conservative women are far more likely to be married and much less likely to be cohabiting. They are also far more likely, by almost five times, to be attending weekly church services.

Add to this, liberal women ages 18 to 40 are much more likely to report frequent feelings of loneliness and 29% report feeling this way many times a week. Only 11% of conservative women report this. Marriage and church boost social integration, which is an important mental and physical health factor.

The take-away here is that ideas have big consequences, as Richard Weaver famously put it. What we believe and what we practice in our lives matters for good and bad. All ideas are not created equal. Some led to better heath and contentment. Some create less happiness and feelings of loneliness.

IFS concludes “that any efforts to bridge this ideological gap in young women’s emotional well-being will seemingly require not only a change in thinking but also a renewal of young liberal women’s connection to America’s core institutions—family and faith.”

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Four Things to Enhance Marital Happiness Among Wives

A recent study by the Institute for Family Studies and the Wheatley Institute reveals key factors that significantly enhance marital happiness among wives. The research indicates that four primary attributes in husbands – commitment, protectiveness, shared church attendance and regular date nights – lead to a much higher likelihood of wives reporting being “very happy” in their marriages.

Commitment

First, and perhaps not surprisingly, the study reveals that wives with committed husbands are 399% more likely to report being very happy in their marriages. This data point illustrates the importance of husbands demonstrating dedication to the marital relationship.

According to the report, four significant components of creating commitment in marriage are: a desire for a future together, the sense of being a team, prioritizing the relationship and sacrificing for one another. Commitment fosters trust and security in the marital relationship and is key to long-term satisfaction in marriage.

Protectiveness

Next, data indicates that wives are 137% more likely to report being very happy in their marriage if their husbands exhibit protective behaviors.

Researchers say this finding was an unexpected indicator of happiness. Protective was listed among other personal traits, including ambition, confidence, physical strength, being a good provider, being respectful, attractive, loving and sexually responsive.

Researchers believe that the term “protective” refers not only to a wife’s sense of physical safety but also to the sense of protection surrounding the relationship demonstrated through loyalty, faithfulness and fidelity. In a broad sense, protection reassures wives that their husbands are protective of the marital relationship, which leads to stability and happiness for wives.

Shared Church Attendance

Third, the study indicates that wives who attend church regularly with their husbands have a 112% higher chance of being very happy in their marriages.

Shared religious beliefs and practices provide couples with a common framework of values, which increases marital stability and a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. Religious engagement also promotes virtues like forgiveness, compassion and love, which are very beneficial to the long-term health of marriages.

The study declares, “More often than not, the couple that prays together flourishes together.”

Researchers point out that marriage and family are a significant part of religious devotion in almost all world religions. Religion encourages prioritizing family and commitment in marriage, which are vital to healthy families and marriages.

In addition, the study suggests that shared religious activities help wives and husbands manage stress, deal with relationship challenges and positively focus on shared future hopes.

Regular Date Nights

Finally, the data indicates that wives who reported having regular date nights with their husbands were 56% more likely to be happily married. Interestingly, wives who reported regular date nights were 84% more likely to report feeling stability in their marriages.

Researchers suggest that the link between date night frequency and the feeling of stability in marriage reveals that date nights are one way women determine the quality of their marriage.

In addition, the report demonstrates that regular date nights lead to better communication, more commitment and greater sexual satisfaction.  

Checklist for Marital Happiness

So, if you are a husband looking to enhance your wife’s marital happiness and create a more fulfilling and stable relationship, consider incorporating these attributes into your marital life daily.

  • Demonstrate Unwavering Commitment: Prioritize the marriage and actively work through challenges together.
  • Be Protective: Offer support and reassurance, stand by your wife in times of need and faithfully protect your marital relationship.
  • Attend Church Together Regularly: Go to church with your wife and family, build a set of shared values and pray together.
  • Make Date Nights a Priority: Plan regular date nights and keep romance alive.

By embracing these behaviors, husbands can take the lead in building healthy and strong marriages.

Image from Shutterstock.

Important New Book Explains Why Marriage Still Matters

The reasons why marriage still matters in a society where the institution seems to be declining as an ideal are, ironically, literally countless. Every way social scientists and other scholars know how to measure such things regularly demonstrates that marriage improves all important aspects of well-being for women, men, children and society as a whole.

In an effort to help document and explain this fact, two important Canadian scholars have just published a new book that is worth careful attention: I … Do? Why Marriage Still Matters. The authors, Andrea Mrozek and Peter Jon Mitchell, both with Cardus, a leading Canadian think tank, have long histories studying marriage as a social institution.

Their book, as they explain, “seeks to equip readers with the language and logic of marriage as a social institution that contributes to a flourishing, even and especially, for those who are nonreligious.” They explain that those who take faith seriously “have other theological underpinnings to lend color to the tapestry of life” but “nonreligious people who no longer get married are thus deprived of yet another source of meaning and stability in a transient world.”

They admit it “has become a cliché in certain circles” but their case is that family, established on the clarity of marriage, “is the building block of community and society.” Why? Because “family is the sine qua non of learning to live in community.” They continue, “Family is the primary place where children learn and are formed as people.”  Mrozek and Mitchell ask us to reflect on this. “We don’t often stop to ponder this point, but a stable and healthy home contributes to a healthy citizenry.” And marriage is what cements families together, better than any other social institution. Our authors explain, “Marriage continues to be relevant today, in part because it is focused on life beyond ourselves.” It is one of the only major social institutions to do so.

They ask, “How much evidence shows that married people tend to accumulate more wealth, enjoy better health and fulfillment, and their children experience better outcomes on a number of measures?” They answer, “At this point, quite a bit.” It’s true, and this finding is such a truism it has earned itself a name in academic circles. “These benefits have been termed the marriage advantage in the social sciences [emphasis in original].”

Boosting Fertility

Declining population is a very serious problem in most parts of the world today. But these authors explain “marriage and fertility remain firmly linked” and that fertility will not rise in any country if marriage rates continue to decline. They add, “Surveys show that women want to have more children than they are currently having, but under the right circumstances – marriage being a key factor.”

Andrea Mrozek, the lead author, explains the mission of their book here:

Mrozek and Mitchell close their book instructing us,

This book is ultimately an effort, using social-scientific research, to initiate a conversation about reimagining what marriage is and why it still matters. … The bottom line is we can no longer take marriage for granted. Public conversations about the benefits of marriage and the role family structure plays in well-being equip people with the knowledge to make their own informed choices and help public policymakers identify barriers to family formation.

Mrozek and Mitchell challenge us that “now more than ever, North Americans need to reimagine what a healthy marriage culture could look like in a pluralistic society.” Their important new book will go far in helping that happen. 

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How Marriage Fights Against Deaths of Despair

It has long been shown in the academic literature that marriage serves as a substantial buffer against numerous life factors that harm one’s health and as a powerful promoter of those things which enhance personal well-being.

This is true for men, women and children who have married parents, as well as society as a whole when marriage rates are strong in a community.

A new study published by the American Sociological Association examines how marital status impacts deaths of despair stemming from alcohol, drug overdose and suicide in the United States from the years 2000 to 2021.

The four scholars authoring this study explain “We found the nonmarried exhibit mortality rates 2 to 3 times higher in alcohol and suicide deaths and 4 to 5 times higher in drug-related deaths compared to the married population, net of education.” Those differentials are stunning.

They explain how powerful the marriage well-being premium is: “This magnitude of marriage advantage is comparable to educational differences in these deaths.” Marriage is as powerful as education in improving lives because it is an education. It teaches us to live well with others; and with ourselves.

Examining these three factors for life well-being is important as “the increase in mortality due to suicide, alcohol, and drug overdose has become the main factor leading to stagnation or decline in U.S. life expectancy over recent decades.” These scholars add “The marriage advantage widened substantially during the COVID-19 pandemic.”

As you can see in the second column of the graph below from this study, marriage was a profound protectant against deaths from alcohol, drugs and suicide across the board, but especially during the COVID years.

The third column, entitled Ratio of Rates, has married status as the baseline and shows how dramatically and consistently mortality rates are higher for divorced, widowed and never married individuals.  

Male/Female Differences

Marriage has been shown to benefit men and women when it comes to overall well-being, but it doesn’t do so equally.

This is because men and woman are different in dramatic and surprising ways. Marriage generally favors men because it settles them down, curtailing their more dangerous and less healthy behavior. This is a sociological truism.

This research demonstrates this. The authors state, “In fact, most of the deaths from alcohol, drug overdose, and suicide happened among males, and mortality increased faster among males than females in all three types of deaths.” But they add, “The marriage advantages are higher for males than females for alcohol- and drug-related deaths” and “the unmarried-married ratios are similar between males and females for suicide and that the absolute magnitude of mortality rates for females is substantially large [although still much lower than the males].”

General Conclusion

Beyond protecting from deaths of despair by alcohol, drugs and suicide, these scholars point out other important benefits of marriage:

More recent studies have shown that marriage establishes social norms and a sense of transcendental purpose/meaning of life, contributing to reducing risky and health-threatening behaviors and encouraging health-aware behaviors. The married population has been found to have lower levels of substance use, such as alcohol and drug use.

They continue,

Marriage also plays a crucial role in stress reduction and is a strong predictor of mental health outcomes, such as depression and anxiety. Furthermore, marriage provides economic benefits so that people can buffer stress and have better living conditions, better access to health services, and higher quality of care.

Marriage is a universal gift from God, a common grace given to humanity across all cultures and times. It is the first institution God gave to Adam and Eve, and humanity.

The Lord’s first command to humanity – to go forth and multiply – is also a marital command. No wonder social scientists who do good, honest work are discovering its benefits and publishing those findings in leading academic journals. They are simply observing and reporting on what God wired into humanity, whether they realize its source or not.

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Image from Shutterstock.