Jay Leno on Wife with Dementia: ‘I Like Taking Care of Her’

Even outside Christian circles, the trajectory of Jay and Mavis Leno’s dating relationship would be considered unusual.

Meeting at Los Angeles’ “Comedy Store” in the late 1970s, Jay Leno, who didn’t drink, offered his new love interest $35 instead of buying her something from the bar.

“Look, let me give you the money, and you can buy a blouse or something,” he told her. “I don’t want to buy you a drink.”

As their dating relationship progressed and Jay fell in love, he became concerned that Mavis didn’t have any safety net in the event something happened to him.

“I had this insurance policy, and I thought if something happened to me, my girlfriend wouldn’t be covered, but if we’re married, we’re covered,” he told People Magazine. “So we might as well get married. Not the most romantic.”

Mavis, who described herself as a feminist, hadn’t even considered tying the knot.

“I always had this idea that I would never get married,” she once shared. “But with Jay, I began to realize that this was the first time I was ever with someone where I had a perfect, calm sense of having arrived at my destination.”

Now at 75 years-old, Jay Leno has been retired from The Tonight Show since 2014. He’s continued to perform as a stand-up comic upwards of 200 times a year and hosts a show on YouTube called “Jay Leno’s Garage.” He owns more than 250 antique and exotic automobiles and is known to enjoy tinkering with and driving many of them.

The former late-night host recently sat down with podcaster Graham Belsinger and talked at length about his life, including his 44-year marriage to Mavis.

“I always tell people, marry the person you wish you could be,” Jay offered. “And that’s why if I married another self-centered person who was funny, one of us would die. My wife does a lot of charity work and things like that. And it worked out great. I married the person that had the ideals I wish I had.”

Mavis Leno is now suffering from dementia. How has that changed the Lenos’ marriage?

“I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV. And it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s basically what we did before, except now I have to feed her and do all those things. But I like it. I like taking care of her. I think somewhere in my life, she’s a very independent woman. So I like that I’m needed. You know, and I need to be there.”

In another interview last May, Jay told a reporter that Mavis has been his best friend.

“We have a lot of fun. People say marriage is difficult. I don’t get it. I enjoy her company. I enjoy taking care of her. We have fun. She’s the most independent woman I ever knew. Again, I just couldn’t be prouder of her. I am part of her legacy and that’s what I’m proudest of.”

While Jay Leno has suggested his faith has kept him going, he hasn’t spoken or reflected publicly about how or what that faith means to him.

Both Jay’s and Mavis’ reflection about her “feminism” and “independence” are telling and instructive. The empty promises of both are exposed and revealed in the Leno story. Mavis almost never got married because of feminism, and Jay was almost deprived of the honor and fulfillment of serving his wife because of her otherwise stubborn streak.

It’s estimated that over seven million Americans are suffering from some form of dementia, a crippling and cruel disease that robs individuals of not only their memories, but sometimes their personalities, too. This condition hits the individual, of course, but it also severely impacts spouses, children, grandchildren and other caregivers.

Mavis Leno and all those suffering from memory loss are deserving of our prayers, as well as their caretakers like Jay and all the spouses, children, and professional healthcare workers committed to serving others with compassion, dignity and respect.

Jay Leno makes his living telling jokes, but there is nothing funny about the challenges he faces as a husband. But his public proclamation of support and devotion to Mavis is honorable, refreshing and inspiring – and undoubtedly, his finest act yet.

Image from Getty.