parenting

Children’s Rights Should Always Come Before Adults’ Desires

Katy Faust, founder of the non-profit organization “Them Before Us,” believes every child deserves a mother and a father.

So does Focus on the Family President Jim Daly, Southern Seminary President Dr. Albert Mohler, Colson Center President John Stonestreet, Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, LiveAction Founder and President Lila Rose, the Heritage Foundation’s Delano Squires, and popular podcasters Allie Beth Stuckey, Michael Knowles and Josh Hammer.

That’s why they’re all supporting Katy Faust’s “Greater Than Movement” — a broad coalition of “parents, students, researchers, think tanks, influencers, and citizens” willing to actively lobby for public policy that supports the ideal of every child enjoying what culture for multi-millennia has taken as obvious — that no child should be deliberately prevented from having a mom and dad.

In a video featured on the new coalition’s website, Focus on the Family’s Jim Daly states, “When you look at social science, it says beyond a shadow of a doubt that children that grow up in a loving, two-parent, biological home, with a mom and dad, those children will do best.”

In that same video, Lila Rose calls the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision, which legalized same-sex marriage in all fifty states, a ruling that “created inequality for children.”

Dr. Albert Mohler warns, “You redefine marriage, you have just destroyed the house. You can put together a new house and claim it’s the same. Children will know the difference. It harms children in virtually every way imaginable.”

John Stonestreet notes, “The data that we have says two things. Number one, children do best when they are raised in a home with married, biological mom and dad. The other thing we know from research is that moms don’t dad and dads don’t mom. It’s not enough to say kids just need loving parents because kids need a particular kind of parent. Parenting comes in two forms, moms and dads.”

The “Greater Than Movement” strives to both shape and overturn laws — including the legalization of same-sex marriage — that harm children.

In America today, children brought into a same-sex marital relationship are deliberately deprived from having both a mother and a father. This is done for no other reason than to satisfy the desires of the adults, a grand selfish act that harms boys and girls who then grow up into adulthood with all the accompanying deficits and dysfunctions that are associated with not having the unique and distinct male and female influences in their lives.

As the coalition correctly declares, children’s rights aren’t up for debate. Children are sacrosanct. They are vulnerable and incapable of representing and defending themselves, and so responsible adults must step in to do so. Many of the current debates raging today would be unfathomable to previous generations, but simply lamenting the circumstances won’t solve the problem or help the children.

The movement even quotes a former ally — President Barack Obama. Said our 44th president, “We know that children benefit not just from loving mothers and loving fathers, but from strong and loving marriages as well.” President Obama said that at a White House Father’s Day event in 2010. He was right. Sadly, he changed his mind in 2012 when he came out in support of same-sex marriage.

Please consider joining the effort to protect children by visiting their website and adding your voice and support to the commitment.

Every Parent Needs to Talk to Their Teen About the Yahoo Boys

They’re known as the “Yahoo Boys” — a term emanating from the late 1990s and early 2000s when schemers in Nigeria would use Yahoo email to try and scam unsuspecting people out of their money via the internet.

Those of a certain age will remember versions of the nonsense: A Nigerian prince needs help claiming a fortune and somehow has chosen you to help him unlock the funds. Of course, you’ll be rewarded handsomely for the assistance.

A quarter-century later, though, they’re “sextortionists” — fraudsters in Nigeria and other countries in West Africa who are tragically blackmailing teen boys.

Ben Gillenwater, also known as the “Family IT Guy,” is a cybersecurity expert (and also a father) who says his mission in life is to help mothers and fathers and children navigate the increasingly dangerous minefield of the digital world. 

Gillenwater was a recent guest on Allie Beth Stuckey’s “Relatable” podcast and explained the con that’s ruining lives — and in the case of a young man in Michigan, even taking them.

“They identify weakness in people,” he told Stuckey, noting they specifically target teenage boys. 

“What they’ll do is, they’ll find the profile of a girl in a nearby town, and then will message the teenage boy, [writing] ‘Hey, I go to high school over here, you go to high school over here, how’s it going,’ and then flirt and whatnot. And then eventually ‘the girl’ will send a naked picture.”

The teen boy is then asked to send a naked photograph — and the blackmail begins. 

“They study all of your friends on Instagram and gather up your whole network,” Gillenwater explained. “They know everybody you go to school with. They know everybody you go to church with. They know every family member. And then that’s how they blackmail you. They’re going to send your naked photo to all those people [if you don’t send money].”

Jordan DeMay was a 17-year-old senior at Marquette Senior High School in Michigan when he received a message on Instagram from an individual claiming to be a teenage girl. He was convinced to send an explicit photo. The blackmailing began immediately. DeMay, who was a top student athlete and homecoming king, sent $300 — and the “Yahoo Boys” demanded $1000 more. 

Jordan DeMay died by suicide six hours later. 

Sadly, the rise of “sexting” even outside of online scams has made this type of cybercrime an easier trap for teenagers. When you normalize sin, more people fall for it. 

Our team has put together a few suggestions on how best to warn and educate children about this escalating and dangerous threat:

• If your teen doesn’t have a cell phone, hold off giving him or her one for as long as possible. If you do decide to allow them to have a phone, give them one without a camera.

• Warn your child in no uncertain terms about the dangers of sexting. Make the discussion part of a larger, comprehensive conversation about sex, sexual attitudes, sexual morality, dating, and the consequences of pre-marital sexual activity. 

• Point out that there are serious emotional, psychological, and spiritual risks associated with this kind of counterfeit intimacy. Remind them that digital images don’t go away. Once they’re “out there,” there are a number of ways that sexually explicit photos can be captured, stored, and shared — and probably will be.

Know the warning signs: As a parent, you have a responsibility to keep tabs on your child’s online activities and cyber-behavior. Here are a few indicators that you may have a problem on your hands:

• Your child spends large amounts of time online or on the phone, especially at night

• You find pornography on your child’s computer or suggestive photos on their phone

• Your child receives phone calls or text messages from people you don’t know or makes calls to numbers you don’t recognize

• Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don’t know

• Your child turns the computer monitor off or quickly changes the screen when you enter the room

• Your child becomes withdrawn from the family

• Your child is using an online account belonging to someone else

The old adage that to be “forewarned is to be forearmed” is a fitting framework for mothers and fathers raising teenagers today. 

New Family Study Shows Importance of Married Parenting

It has long been established, since the deeply important 1966 Coleman Report on childhood education in America, that family form and parents’ levels of involvement in raising their children are paramount in boosting child well-being and thriving. As the Coleman Report found and explained, “Studies of school achievement have consistently shown that variations in family background account for far more variation in school achievement than do variations in school characteristics.”

More recently, scholars have found the same thing. William Jeynes, professor of education at California State University – Long Beach, explains from his own research that the educational achievement gap between white, African American and Latino students “totally disappeared” when minority students have a vibrant personal faith and come from a married home where the child is biologically related to mother and father. He explains this is true even after adjusting forindividual socioeconomic status.

Jeynes explains,

The family elements that were most strongly associated with a reduction in the achievement gap were coming from a two-biological-parent family and high levels of parental involvement. These are interrelated: when two parents are present, this maximizes the frequency and quality of parental involvement. 

He adds another important benefit: serious faith. He explains,

In addition to family structure, a student’s faith also has a significant impact on his or her academic performance. Regularly attending church, or another house of worship, and defining oneself as being a very religious person yielded the most significant reductions in the achievement gap.

He asserts, “Numerous research studies have concluded that family factors are far more salient than school factors in influencing achievement.” This was true in the 1960s, and remains true today.

New research on social mobility from a non-partisan research think-tank in Washington D.C., the Archbridge Institute, adds to the finding that family formation and close parental involvement boost child well-being. Archbridge defines social mobility as “the opportunity to better oneself and those around them,” evidenced in climbing the socio-economic ladder and earning more than one’s parents.

These scholars explain that there are artificial and natural barriers to one’s social mobility. “Artificial barriers are imposed by an external authority and usually affect a class of people.” Natural barriers are different. They “occur naturally without any external imposition and typically exist at the individual level” the report states.

The artificial barriers they highlight in a person’s youth are “educational quality, minimum wage” and any “marriage penalty [policy] hindering family formation.” The natural barriers are “out of wedlock births, lack of parental engagement [and], lack of unsupervised playtime.”

In a write-up of their report for the Institute for Family Studies, the Archbridge team clarifies, “While education, entrepreneurship, and the rule of law remain critical pillars of … mobility metrics, family factors constitute the first stage where opportunity can either take root or begin to wither.” They add, “The home sets the trajectory for developing cognitive skills, character traits, and the soft skills associated with long-term flourishing.”

They find it true that “healthy family structures shape a child’s potential for mobility, and at the same time, the surrounding public policy environment can either support or impede opportunities for parents to promote a bright future for their children.” These natural and artificial factors must work in tandem to make sure children have the best opportunities. Thus, these scholars remind us, “While mitigating natural barriers remains the responsibility of parents, the removal of artificial barriers to family stability are the responsibility of each citizen.” This is why knowledge of and engagement in public policy is everyone’s civic duty. Focus on the Family offers help to families.

This Archbridge report examined which states and regions in the United States provide the most ideal environments for social mobility. They found that Utah provided the best environment and Louisiana had the worst for social mobility. The South and Mid-Atlantic regions offered the worst opportunities, and the Western Mountain and Upper Mid-Plains states offered the best opportunities.

This is simply more research documenting the previously established essential role that marriage, family structure, and daily mother/father involvement in the lives of their children has on elevating important measures of child well-being. 

Related Articles and Resources

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New Research Shows Married Families Matter More Than Ever

Why You Should Care About the Growing Positive Power of Marriage

Important New Research on How Married Parents Improve Child Well-Being

Research Shows Marriage Boosts Well Being

New Research Shows Marriage and Fatherhood Regulate Male Sexual Energy

New Research: Marriage Still Provides Major Happiness Premium

Cohabitation Still Harmful – Even as Stigma Disappears

Don’t Believe the Modern Myth. Marriage Remains Good for Women

Don’t Believe the Modern Myth. Marriage Remains Good for Men.

Yes, Married Mothers Really Are Happier Than Unmarried and Childless Women

Marriage and the Public Good: A New Manifesto of Policy Proposals

To Make Marriage and Children Great Again, We Must Make Hearts Whole Again

According to The New York Times, the Trump Administration’s efforts to increase marriage and birth rates are stalling 358 days into the president’s second term.

To buttress her case, reporter Caroline Kitchener cites the various proposals officials have talked about enacting but that have not yet happened, including legislative actions to expand tax credits, establish a “baby bonus,” and even implement something called a “honeymoon bonus” which would be geared toward extending federal benefits to low-income couples for a year following their marriage.

Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy has been mocked by some for calling the plummeting birthrate a “national security threat” — but that’s exactly what it is. A nation dropping below replacement level sets in motion a cascading series of devastating consequences ranging from its financial impact to social to even military and public safety concerns. 

Last year, Focus on the Family president Jim Daly observed, “People of faith have long championed the value of children because more children will benefit everyone.” He then warned, “It’s the declining birthrate that poses an existential threat, and it’s an issue we must address — or ignore at our peril.”

How we address that threat remains a hotly debated issue.

Ms. Kitchener quotes White House spokesperson Kush Desai as saying the White House is taking a “multifaceted approach” to the dilemma, a strategy that makes perfect sense but that also points to the limitations government and the bully pulpit have when it comes to encouraging marriage and having children.

There’s also the incredibly slow and inefficient grind of Big Brother. It’s curious that the Times is expecting so much in such a short amount of time — but also revealing they don’t disagree with the many concerns surrounding the collapsing birth rate.

Since Donald and Melania Trump took that famed golden escalator ride back in 2015, the 45th and now 47th president has repeatedly emphasized his goal of making “America Great Again.” Last month, Jim O’Neill, Deputy Secretary of Health and Human Services said HHS was striving to “make America fertile again.”

Both pledges are aspirational and inspirational, but something else must happen if marriage and children are to be once more widely honored, revered and celebrated.

American hearts need to be made whole again.

Not cardiovascular health, but the spiritual and inner life of men, women and children.

It was King Solomon who taught, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). What’s in your heart is the most significant indication of the type of life you will lead.

Couples and parents deserve to hold onto as much of their hard-earned income as possible, but financial incentives will only go so far to encourage marriage and children. It was Dr. Adrian Rogers, a Focus on the Family board member and beloved pastor, who famously quipped:

“The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.”

Men and women must recognize and come to appreciate that fulfillment in life comes from being “others” focused. Good marriages are selfless and sacrificial. They give and don’t keep score. They realize that true fulfillment comes from commitment and giving of oneself.

Good parents acknowledge that children aren’t always convenient, but they are beautiful and bring meaning to life. They also aren’t cheap — but they are priceless and invaluable. As Dr. John Trainer s wrote,

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

The solution to America’s birth dearth is multifaceted, but its cause isn’t as complex. Broken hearts and broken homes lead to broken cultures — including a reluctance to marry and have children.

King David’s plea should be ours, too:

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).

You Don’t Need ChatGPT to Raise a Child. You Need a Mom and Dad.

Sam Altman, an investor, entrepreneur and CEO of OpenAI, a research and development company, says he can’t imagine raising a child without the availability and accessibility of artificial intelligence.

Appearing on Jimmy Fallon earlier this week, the Tonight Show host asked the tech executive if he uses ChatGPT when raising his son. Altman is “married” to Oliver Mulherin, a software engineer. They contracted to purchase a baby via surrogacy. The boy was born this past February.

“I feel kind of bad about it, because we have this genius level at everything, intelligence, sitting there, waiting to unravel the mysteries of humanity,” replied Altman. “And I’m like, ‘Why does my kid [keep] dropping his pizza on the floor and laughing?’ And so I feel like I’m not asking a good enough question, but it is.”

Altman described having concerns about the baby not yet crawling – and asking ChatGPT if that was normal. The software assured him there was nothing to worry about.

“I cannot imagine having gone through it, figuring out how to raise a newborn without Chat GPT,” he told Fallon. “Clearly, people did it for a long time, no problem.”

After the clip was shared on X, Katy Faust, founder and president of “Them Before Us,” an organization committed to defending every child’s right to both a mother and a father, offered some pointed perspective.

“You know what helps a lot when it comes to intuiting what a baby needs?” she asked. “His mother.”

In the early days of same-sex “marriage,” activists favoring the redefinition of the God-gifted institution repeatedly and routinely stressed the fact that a homosexual union had no impact or bearing on anyone else but the two people entering into it. This wasn’t true. Same-sex marriage has upended all kinds of norms and impacted all kinds of people – but especially the children the relationship produces whether through donor eggs or sperm or surrogacy.

Children in a same-sex “marriage” are intentionally and unapologetically deprived of either a mother or a father. Moms and dads are not interchangeable. They complement each other. They’re distinct and unique. Mothers can’t be fathers, and fathers can’t be mothers. God deliberately designed children to enjoy the many unique features and contributions of both.

Even setting aside the issue of same-sex parenting, the rising use of ChatGPT or any artificial intelligence assets may not be inherently problematic when it comes to helping us with a wide range of issues, including providing parental advice. But it cannot take the place of the invaluable perspective that a mother and father bring to childrearing.

Mothers and fathers who rely on artificial intelligence for advice should be aware that the software pulling from various sources isn’t always very discerning. Not all the advice is good – and some of it can be downright dangerous.

Dr. Michael Glazier, chief medical officer of Bluebird Kids Health in Broward County, Florida, told USA Today that any moms or dads using AI software should maintain a “critical eye.”

“It’s a tool and it’s incredible and it’s getting more pervasive,” he said. “But don’t let it take the place of critical thinking … There’s a lot of benefit for us as parents to think things through and consult experts versus just plugging it into a computer.”  

Children are also at risk and vulnerable to the emerging technology. Horror stories and lawsuits are coming out now suggesting some AI platforms have served as “suicide coaches” for kids.

Of course, Katy Faust’s warning goes beyond the mere use of AI and instead strikes at the selfishness of same-sex couples who are depriving children of either a mother or a father. Moms and dads serve far more than a utilitarian purpose. With their unique blend of personalities and perspective, they provide something that artificial intelligence will never replace.