family

Why I Wrote What Really Matters: Restoring a Legacy of Faith, Family, and Freedom

Over the past several years, I have had the honor to write a series of columns on issues dear to my heart: the importance of marriage, families, male leadership, a well-ordered society, faith, and history.  Each of these issues affects what we are experiencing today as we conclude the first quarter of the 21st century.

My new book, What Really Matters: Restoring a Legacy of Faith, Family, and Freedom is a collection of these columns calling on Americans to return to these core values. It is my firm conviction that we as a nation can reverse the decades-long trend of rejecting these values and bring about a great American restoration that will lift us out of the current political and cultural morass in which we find ourselves as a nation.

I also wrote these columns and, with the assistance of my good friend Craig Osten, compiled them in this book because of my love for our country — the freest and greatest nation ever devised. Because I love my nation so much, it grieves me when we have seemingly lost our way — particularly when it comes to marriage, family, faith, and education.

The book features columns on all these topics and proposes a blueprint for restoring each into our country’s collective DNA. I will look at the breakdown of marriage and the family, the current lamentable state of many young American males, the impact of cultural secularization, and the loss of teaching true American history, and how each impacted our society.

But one thing we always have is hope, even in the darkest of times. While all of these factors have increased our national divisions, which can only be healed if we return to the values that made America the greatest nation on earth, I believe that can happen. It is the restoration of these values that will be the antidote to purge our nation of its current poisonous climate of political and cultural polarization.

It is these values that will also restore communities and relationships as we seek to treat all our fellow citizens with dignity and respect, regardless of our differences, provide loving and nurturing homes for our children, and our schools once again become places of learning rather than of indoctrination.

But it will take time. As my friends Jim Daly and John Stonestreet write in their forward to the book: “A complete overhaul of society won’t happen overnight. Just as a long series of small compromises got us way off course, it’s going to require a long series of small corrections to help point us back in the right direction.”

Those words could not be truer. Political and cultural change often does not come in waves, but instead in small drips that increasingly erode our national fabric over time. To bring about political and cultural restoration, we need to first shut off the drips before we can start to work on the repairs. But to shut off the drips, we need to first find the source that caused the drips in the first place – which was, in our case, our slow national turning away from God and His eternal truths.

That is what I have tried to do in What Really Matters, to raise our awareness of the “drips” and point to the source which will repair the damage that has been done and restore a nation based on the principles upon which it was founded – faith in God, the affirmation of human dignity, and “one nation indivisible” instead of divided.

I believe if we return to these values, a great American restoration is not just possible, but probable, but like so many things, it needs to start with each of us first. By remembering “what really matters” hopefully we can once again focus on these essential values and once again be the “shining city on a hill” for the world to see.

How Elites Are Actively Celebrating Polycules, Polyamory and Throuples

The invention of new family forms never stops. It just continues.

It started in the 1960s and 70s with the separation of sex and babies from marriage, marriage from parenting with the expressive divorce, and the single-parent-by-choice revolution. That was followed through the 1980s and 90s with drastic rises in cohabitation. Then we had the radical redefinition of and de-sexing of the family with same-sex marriage.

Now it’s polyamory, throuples and polycules. And these new forms are going mainstream. Within days, The New York Times recently published two features highlighting the mainstreaming of polyamory.

For the uninitiated, polyamory is group pairings as the word literally implies: many loves. Of course, this is a perversion of that very important four-letter word. It is not love. It is agreed upon infidelity among multiple partners that often evolve in number.

The first Times article recently highlighting polyamory was published February 28 of this year, reporting on the growing legal recognition of this experimental relational form. They report, “A wave of recent local ordinances in large liberal bastions like Portland, Ore., … would confer the beginning of legal protections to polyamorous relationships.” But this ordinance is not the beginning.

The city council of Somerville, Mass., gave legal recognition to people in polyamory relationships in early 2023. One of those city councilpersons explained before their unanimous vote, “Everyone on the City Council knows someone who is polyamorous. This is Somerville.”

The Times noted that a recent polyamory initiative in Olympia, Washington, grew out of demands from queer activists. They quote Robert Vanderpool, an Olympia City Council member who explained, “We heard from people in our L.G.T.B.Q. community who wanted more protection, including people living polyamorously.”

Yes, many of us, years ago, warned that when you define male or female out of marriage and family, there is no reason to keep either to two adults. It’s how this works. We were called ridiculous. Of course we were not. It was obvious this was coming.

The second recent piece from the Gray Lady, published March 4, was a splashy feature of a woman named Lindy West who “thought she couldn’t handle polyamory.” They explain, “She was wrong.” West married a man named Ahamefule Oluo in 2015 who fashionably goes by they/them pronouns. A woman named Roya Amirsoleymani is now their third partner.

As you can guess, it was West’s husband’s idea to “diversify” their relationship by hooking up with Roya as his new girlfriend. Lindy didn’t take it well, but she was forced to adjust. Liberal patriarchy at work.

The Free Press even observed, writing about Lindy’s unconventional home, “Say it with me now: open marriages never work.” They note Lindy “loves being treated like a child by the man she was supposed to grow old with – and the woman who has taken her place in his bed.” Women are never empowered by non-monogamy.

In 2024, The New York Times Magazine also did a splash on a similar, but different kind of new relationship configuration: polycules. The piece is entitled “Lessons From a 20-Person Polycule” with the subtitle “How they set boundaries, navigate jealousy, wingman their spouses and foster community.” A polycule is essentially a super-sized polyamorous relationship. More is better. The photo accompanying the article features at least eight men and women embracing romantically. They admit, “It’s difficult to describe a polycule.”

Katie, a member of this confab, honestly confesses, “The polycule is like this weird family.” Ann, another member, tells us they all make up a “chosen family.” She admits, “It works like complex kinship networks work — just a little kinkier,” adding, “It reflects radical queer values.” Katie explains there are more than 20 people in their polycule and age ranges from mid-20s to mid-40s. She confusingly explains:

There are self-identified males who identify as heteroflexible, heterosexual, bisexual. There’s a nonbinary person. Every femme-presenting person or woman identifies as queer. A lot of people are married and have primary partnerships. They’re coming to it from the opening of a monogamous relationship.

Yes, they are just making up new words and identities. But Nico explains the group is governed by “a bunch of queer women who say we’re not going to follow the rules.”

Some polycule’s boast including several children in their family experimentation. The Guardian even claims, incredulously, that such homes bring no harm to these children. We all know that is not true.

And then there are throuples. In mid-December, The Wall Street Journal broached the vexing problem in a handsome spread of how one upper-middle class Chicago throuple maneuvered decorating the $1.71 million home they share together.

David and Ryan were a couple, but they made room for Michael in their relationship after a few years as they all became sexually involved. They are certainly not unique as same-sex attracted men their experimentation. The Journal notes that real-estate agents “are noticing more throuples and polycules buying homes together.”

It is true. Once you open Pandora’s Box of creative relationship construction that get called a family, it is mind boggling where it can lead too. And we can expect to see more legacy press celebrate their creation.

Photo Credit: The New York Times

Josh Allen: Being a Dad is ‘Most Important Thing’

On Thursday, Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen met the media for the first time since his team’s heartbreaking playoff loss two weeks ago.

The 6-foot-5 signal caller hobbled in on crutches, his right foot encased in a boot.

“I had a little broken bone in there,” he told reporters. “So they went and took it out and cleaned it up. Obviously, not (an) ideal situation, painful throughout the weeks. But, game day, different story, just being able to put that to the side and just go out there and play football.”

There were plenty of questions about football, but then a reporter asked Allen about his plans for the offseason, specifically noting that Josh and his wife, actress Hailee Steinfeld, are expecting a baby.

“I’ve got siblings that have kids, I’ve got a lot of friends that have kids, and I don’t know if you can plan too far in advance,” Allen said, continuing:

So, I’m very much looking forward to that with my wife, of becoming a dad. It’s something that I will take with great pride. And we’re gonna have to figure things out on the go, just like anything else.

Allen, now in his 8th NFL season, is considered one of the game’s top performing quarterbacks. Having won the MVP award in 2024, he’s also been a four-time Pro Bowler, and two-time second-team All-Pro. He loves the game and play if for a living, but Allen told the reporter it’s no longer going to be his top priority.

“The most important thing I’ll ever be in my life, is being a dad,” he said.  “And I know I love being a football player, and I love being a quarterback for the Buffalo Bills, but I’m looking forward to this one.”

It’s not the first time Allen has reevaluated his priorities.

Back in 2023 when Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin collapsed on the field after suffering cardiac arrest, Josh experienced a “kind of a spiritual awakening.” Growing up Methodist in Firebaugh, California, the Allens went to church each Sunday, but he was always most eager to get home to watch football.

“I’ll be the first to admit, I haven’t been the most devoted Christ-follower in my life, and I’ve had my different beliefs and thoughts and ideas and stuff like that, but something got hold of me there, and it was extremely powerful, [something] that I couldn’t deny.”

It’s not immediately clear where the Allens are regarding their faith as a family in 2026. But it’s our hope and prayer that with a new child soon to be born, it will be foundational as they love and grow together in the years to come.

American Deaths to Exceed Births Faster Than Expected, CBO Reports

U.S. fertility has been falling to deeply concerning historic lows and according to a new Congressional Budget Office (CBO) report, that decline is expected to worsen in the coming decades.

In fact, the CBO now predicts deaths will exceed births in America 10 years sooner than their 2024 projection. In January 2024, the CBO reported that American deaths would overtake the total number of births in 2040. This new report now predicts that will now happen for the first time in 2030. This is also three years sooner than their January 2025 report, which placed that ominous date in 2033.

If this reporting trend continues, the 2027 CBO report will likely place that date even sooner, in 2028 or 2029. This means we are hurtling even closer to a natural death over fertile life trend in America.

The CBO demonstrate how quickly population growth in the United States has been declining over the last few decades. The blue markers show how annual births over deaths will grow even more dramatic through 2050.

This means an increasingly aging population. “The segment of the population age 65 or older,” the report states, “is projected to grow more quickly, on average, than younger groups, causing the average age of the population to rise.” Immigration will then become the only way America can grow. However, the U.S. experienced net negative migration in 2025 for the first time in 50 years.

The U.S. fertility rate declined to 1.6 in 2024, below the necessary 2.1 replacement level, and the CBO predicts it will decline to 1.58 this year, then to 1.53 in 2036. That is likely an overly positive prediction. They report births by women age 30 and younger will decline even more, from 0.74 births per woman this year to 0.60 in 2056.

The CBO also projects that the fertility for foreign-born women in the U.S. is expected to outpace the birthrates of native-born women. It is currently at 1.53 births for native-born women, but 1.79 births per foreign-born women. Those numbers are expected to decline to 1.50 and 1.66, respectively in 2036 and stay at roughly that rate through 2056.

The CBO trendlines look like this:

The CBO is “now projecting a smaller population over the next three decades than it projected last January.” They now predict that the U.S. population will be 7 million less in 2035 and 8 million less in 2055 than they predicted just last year. That is a 1.9 and 2.1 percent decline in population projections for 2035 and 2055 over last year’s projections.

So not only is fertility declining to historic lows, but it is declining faster than experts anticipated over the most recent years. This matters for various reasons. The interests of the CBO are highly pragmatic as the first line of their new report explains, “The outlook for the U.S. economy and the federal budget depends on projected changes in the size and composition of the population.”

Increasingly shrinking populations, where fertility becomes outpaced by deaths, mean a declining national economy and federal budget. This translates into loss of national power and influence. Babies matter because they drive the future.

This data tells us that God’s first command, to go forth and multiply, is still very much in effect. When we cease to obey, even cold, calculated government accountants will take notice and tell us something is deeply wrong. That is precisely what we find in this new government budget office report.

Related articles and resources: 

U.S. Fertility Rate Falls to Lowest on Record – Again

Global Population Has Passed ‘Peak Child’ – an Ominous Milestone

Why Americans Over and Under 50 Say They Don’t Have Kids

Death of the West? U.S. Fertility Rate Falls to Record Low.

China’s Population Drops by 2 Million in 2023 Due to Record Low Birth Rate

Discarding Genesis 1, U.S. Population Set to Decline This Century Amid World Population Collapse

The Importance of God’s Design for Marriage and Family

New Report Gives Update on Family Formation and Child Well-Being

Was Teddy Roosevelt America’s Most Masculine, Family Man President?

It could well be the case that with Theodore Roosevelt, America has never had a president who spoke so passionately and modeled so beautifully the virtues of masculinity, family, marriage and children.

In speech that he gave in 1897, Teddy Roosevelt declared:

No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his well-being, to risk his body, to risk his life, in a great cause.

Speaking in 1905, President Roosevelt stated:

The foundation stone of national life is the family, and unless that foundation stone is firm and solid, there is nothing upon which to build.

Addressing America’s highest ideals, T.R. once observed:

The highest and finest product of civilization is a man and woman who work together in the home for the upbringing of children.

Our 26th president, Roosevelt was the youngest ever to be chief executive. Taking the oath at the age of 42 following the assassination of President William McKinley in 1901, the famed “Rough Rider” both faced and forged his way through difficulty. Roosevelt’s first wife died in 1884. He remarried in 1886. He fathered 6 children and gained a reputation as a principled but playful family man.

The Roosevelts hiked, swam, fished and hunted. He was an accomplished boxer and believed the good life was a vigorous one.

Mothers and fathers looking to inspire and educate their children might consider teaching them about T.R. One way they might do so is by introducing their tweens and teens to the television show, “Elkhorn” — a drama on the INSP Network.

You might know INSP by its original name — The Inspiration Network — a cable outfit first established as a non-profit organization coming out of the PTL Television Network. Now headquartered in South Carolina, INSP says their goal is to provide American families with high quality, clean, and safe entertainment that won’t offend their moral or Christian convictions. They have a special focus on westerns, action-dramas, and programs that celebrate and champion heroic characters.

“Elkhorn” — which tells the story of Teddy Roosevelt’s time in the Dakotas following the death of his first wife — fits well the noble mission of the network.

Not only did Roosevelt lose his wife, Alice Lee, on February 14, 1884, but he also lost his mother, Mittie, who died of typhoid fever that same day.

“The light has gone out of my life,” wrote Teddy in his diary. Grief stricken, he decided to take off for Medora, North Dakota. T.R. had visited the Dakota territory on a buffalo hunting trip in 1883. He felt like the journey and time outside of the familiar east coast would help him process and recover from the tragic losses.

Settling in North Dakota, Roosevelt established Elkhorn Ranch in the Badlands. His time there was difficult, but also formative and fulfilling. “I never would have been President if it had not been for my experiences in North Dakota,” T.R. would later say.

The “Elkhorn” television show dramatizes and inevitably fictionalizes some of Roosevelt’s adventures, but there’s no denying that the former president’s time there helped develop his toughness, cultivated his confidence, and reaffirmed his contention and conviction that the strenuous life is superior to a sedentary one.

Americans woke up on January 7, 1919, to sad news from the day before. A triple decker New York Times headline relayed the story:

THEODORE ROOSEVELT DIES SUDDENLY AT OYSTER BAY HOME; NATION SHOCKED, PAYS TRIBUTE TO FORMER PRESIDENT; OUR FLAG ON ALL SEAS AND IN ALL LANDS AT HALF MAST

In addition to Elkhorn on television, families might want to consider planning a trip to the soon-to-be-opened Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library in Medora, North Dakota. Fittingly, the grand opening is slated for July 4 — our nation’s 250th birthday. Teddy’s last words were “Please put out the light,” a directive to his servant James. Thankfully, whether on television, in books, or in the new Roosevelt Library, the spotlight on our nation’s 26th president continues to shine brightly.