“Who Am I?”: James Van Der Beek’s Final Answer

by Paul Batura | February 12, 2026 | Culture

The death of actor James Van Der Beek on Wednesday at the age of 48 has resurfaced a moving and revealing post that he shared last year on his birthday.

It was March of 2025 and Van Der Beek, who was married and raising 6 children, was in the midst of a battle with Stage 3 colorectal cancer. 

“Today’s my birthday, and it has been the hardest year of my life,” James told his fans.

“When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, which was never really all that fulfilling. And then I became a husband, and that was much better. And then I became a father, and that was the ultimate,” he said. 

James and Kimberly have six young children: Olivia, Joshua, Annabel, Emilia, Gwendolyn and Jeremiah.

“I could define myself then as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we’re so lucky to live on,” he shared. “And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition to the question, ‘Who am I? What am I?’ And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye. I had to come nose to nose with death.”

Van Der Beek went on to share how the strain of treatments had stripped him of those familiar and familial responsibilities. He could no longer act, put his children to bed — even trim the trees on their property. 

“And so I was faced with the question,” he continued. “If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?”

After prayer and meditation, the actor revealed that he had concluded, “I am worthy of God’s love, simply because I exist … And the same is true for you.”

In an interview this past summer, James shared:

“Before cancer, God was something I tried to fit into my life as much as possible. After cancer, I feel like a connection to God is kind of the whole point of this exercise on this planet.”

Based on some of Van Der Beek’s other comments, he appears to have been on a spiritual journey, growing and maturing as he gained a more fulsome understanding of how our faith serves as the foundation of the Christian life.

Difficult and challenging news has a way of helping us refine and clarify priorities. This is what Pastor Rick Warren was getting at when he spoke at a commencement ceremony at Oral Roberts University. He shared:

As a pastor I have stood at the bedside of literally thousands of people as they took their last breath. I have never once had somebody at their dying moment say, ‘Bring me my bowling trophy, I want to see it one more time; bring me my certificate, my college degree so I can look at it one more time; bring me the nice gold watch I got for 30 years of service at my company.’ Nobody ever says that; they say, ‘Bring me the people that I love.’ In the closing moments of their life, what people want are those they love the most around them.

Following his passing, James’ family posted the following statement:

“Our beloved James David Van Der Beek passed peacefully this morning. He met his final days with courage, faith, and grace. There is much to share regarding his wishes, love for humanity and the sacredness of time. Those days will come. For now we ask for peaceful privacy as we grieve our loving husband, father, son, brother, and friend.”

We invite you to pray for Kimberly, their six children, and extended family.