3 Ways to Pass Faith on to Your Children
Recently distilled and released research confirms what generations of mothers and fathers have discovered to be true: parents remain the strongest influence on the current and long-term faith of their children.
Earlier this summer, our friends at the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) pored over mountains of data and came to the following conclusions:
• Religious practice in childhood is highly predictive of religious practice in adulthood
• Higher parent–child relationship quality in childhood is associated with stronger retention of religious belief and practice in adulthood
• Higher parental marital quality is associated with greater faith transmission
• Congregational involvement on the part of both parents and adolescents is linked to higher levels of faith commitment when children reach adulthood
In short, our children are watching and taking mental notes. How mothers and fathers behave today has a lasting impact on how their children live and what they believe tomorrow.
It was belief in this fundamental and foundational principle that drove Focus on the Family founder Dr. James Dobson to begin the ministry in 1977. He talked and wrote often about the influence his parents, especially his father, had on him personally as he grew in his Christian faith. In fact, it was in a Sunday evening church service that his pastor dad was preaching when he was just three years old that he walked the aisle and committed his life to Jesus.
Here’s how he recalled that pivotal incident:
[My father] invited those who wished to do so to come forward, and I joined them. I recall crying and asking Jesus to forgive my sins. It is overwhelming for me now to imagine the King of the universe caring about an insignificant kid barely out of toddlerhood!
Not all children will heed a call to faith that early or dramatically, of course—nor should they be expected to. Yet it is important to note that my own conversion at that young age was possible because of my parents’ example. From my first days, I saw them on their knees, praying and talking to the Lord. They later told me that I attempted to pray before I learned to talk, imitating the sounds I had heard.
If you set a faithful example beginning with the day your sons and daughters are born, they will never forget what they have seen and heard. Even if they reject God later, the remnant of those early memories will be with them for the rest of their lives—and may well bring them back to the fold. As parents, this is our privilege and duty as outlined in Scripture: “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, KJV).
That conversion occurred nearly 90 years ago, and its impact continues to shape Focus on the Family today. Without James and Myrtle Dobsons’ example, would their son have served the Lord and years later launched a global ministry?
Team members here share a magnificent obsession that was seeded in that small church service—to encourage and equip mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, to pass on their faith to the next generation. It’s the most important task of parenting, and it would be impossible for us to overemphasize its importance.
IFS concludes their report with practical recommendations for mothers and fathers on how best to pass on their faith in Jesus Christ to their children:
1. Be your children’s role model for faith: If you’re not serving the Lord, don’t expect your children to behave any differently.
2. Prioritize a strong marriage and parent-child relationship: Be certain your children know how much you love your spouse and make sure you’re not putting work or social events ahead of time with your sons and daughters.
3. Make faith formation a joint effort and build it into everyday family life, including making it a regular topic of family conversation: The Christian walk is not simply a Sunday exercise but instead a seven-day-a-week adventure.
IFS didn’t invoke the wisdom of the Bible, but Moses’ admonition in the book of Deuteronomy applies here:
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (Deut. 6:6-7, ESV).
Focus on the Family considers it a privilege to serve mothers and fathers and families by equipping and cheering them on when it comes to passing the baton of faith on to the next generation.
