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marriage

Nov 18 2024

The 4B Movement: Anti-Women, Accidentally Pro-Life

No dating. No marriage. No sex. No kids.

These are the four tenets of the 4B movement, a South Korean feminist initiative gaining traction among American women.

Originating almost a decade ago, 4B translates to no marriage (bi-hon), no childbirth (bi-chulsan), no dating (bi-yeonae) and no sex with men (bi-seksue). American women resurrected the movement after the election, accusing men of waging a war on women.

Or, more accurately, refusing to elect a pro-abortion candidate for president.

The American 4B movement collectively believes pro-life policies and candidates encroach upon women’s “right” to unlimited abortion access. Adherents blame these violations on men, whom it claims are inherent oppressors of women.  

Some converts see 4B as a way to punish their male overlords. Others hope decreasing birth rates will convince men to “protect women” — i.e. support abortion access — in future elections.  

Happily, by reducing extramarital sex, 4B followers are reducing abortions — and supporting the pro-life cause. 

The vast majority of abortions (95%) aren’t medically necessary. They occur because the baby is “unwanted or mistimed,” meaning the feels she mother cannot, or is unwilling to, care for her child.

These pregnancies primarily occur outside the confines of marriage, which provides critical economic and social infrastructure for raising children. This is evidenced, in part, by the advantages children raised in two-parent households experience over children from single-parent or cohabiting households.

Research compiled by sociologist Brad Wilcox and family studies scholar Alan J. Hawkins found children with married parents were far less likely to experience social and emotional problems like depression and far more likely to pursue higher education. According to Wilcox and Hawkins, these social disparities are only increasing.

Married families also experience more economic stability than single-parent or cohabiting homes. Wilcox and Hawkins found children with married parents four times less likely to experience poverty than those with single or unmarried parents. The findings echo those of economist Melissa Kearney, who writes,

On average, stable, married families enjoy markedly higher levels of financial security and resources than non-intact families.

Marriage socially and financially equips couples to have children. Outside this support system, pregnancy becomes a daunting obstacle many women choose to abort rather than face. If the 4B movement truly decreases extramarital sex, pro-lifers should be thrilled.

That being said, the 4B movement’s accidental protection of preborn babies doesn’t erase its ideological opposition to life and women.

That’s right — for all its feminist aspirations, the 4B movement is not pro-women. All available historical and sociological evidence suggest women thrive in partnership with men, not isolation from them.

Feminists have made this mistake before. In the 1960s and 70s, many predicted affordable birth control and abortion access, combined with better access to education and jobs, would increase women’s economic welfare.

Instead, many fell into poverty.

In 1978, Professor Diana Pearce, the director of the Center for Women’s Welfare at the University of Washington, wrote, “Poverty is rapidly becoming a female problem.”

Pearce noted this so-called “feminization of poverty” coincided with a 40%, single-generation jump in single mothers. But it wasn’t until the 1990s that Nobel Prize-winning economist George Akerlof connected the increase in women’s poverty to the disconnection of men from their reproductive responsibilities. Birth control and abortion, he posited, gave men no incentive to marry or support women they impregnated. The resulting decrease in “shotgun weddings” meant more single mothers and fewer economic prospects for women.

The “feminization of poverty” illustrated what would come to be a well-tested sociological phenomenon. Maggie Gallagher, a Yale-educated single mother turned pro-family researcher and activist, puts it this way:

Marriage is a powerful creator and sustainer of human and social capital for adults as well as children, about as important as education when it comes to promoting the health, wealth, and well-being of adults and communities.

Gallagher came to this conclusion in 2000. More than two decades later, Wilcox and Hawkins’ report confirms married men and women are economically, socially, mentally and even physically better off than their unmarried or divorced peers.

These benefits held up during one of the most economically and socially stressful periods in recent history — the pandemic.

According to the 2020 American Family Survey measuring women’s life satisfaction, married mothers were fare more likely to report being somewhat or completely satisfied with their life (83.55%) than childless women (60.75%), mothers (68.48%) and unmarried mothers (49.34%).

Married mothers also exceeded their peers in complete life satisfaction, with 38.52% reporting being completely satisfied compared to only 12.93% of childless women, 25.93% of mothers and 19.39% of unmarried mothers.

Gallagher says it best:

In virtually every way that social scientists can measure, married people do better than the unmarried or divorced: they live longer, healthier, happier, sexier and more affluent lives.

These benefits only accrue in partnership with men. By categorically ostracizing men as oppressive, the American 4B movement and its adherents reveal one of two things: either they don’t care about bettering women’s lives, or they have not seriously researched ways to do so.

Happily, 4B’s deeply misguided ideology doesn’t negate its pro-life benefits. If fewer women engage in premarital sex, fewer preborn children will be killed. And that’s always something to celebrate.

Additional Articles and Resources

Important New Research on How Married Parents Improve Child Well-Being

Family Scholars Explain the Current Marriage Paradox in America

Brad Willcox Exhorts Young People to ‘Get Married’

Cohabitation Still Harmful – Even as Stigma Disappears

Don’t Believe the Modern Myth. Marriage Remains Good for Women

Don’t Believe the Modern Myth. Marriage Remains Good for Men.

Myths Persist: Pop Culture Wrongly Steers Women Away From Marriage

Yes, Married Mothers Really Are Happier Than Unmarried and Childless Women

Married Fatherhood Makes Men Better

Marriage and the Public Good: A New Manifesto of Policy Proposals

Written by Emily Washburn · Categorized: Culture, Life · Tagged: feminism, marriage

Oct 28 2024

Young Person Explains Why Young People Aren’t Getting Married

Fair warning: If you are looking for an examination of marriage’s benefits or why it’s declining, this piece is not for you. Please read one of the articles linked at the bottom of the page.

If, however, you’re looking for an uncomfortably honest, completely anecdotal explanation of why the nice young men and women in your life aren’t getting hitched — I’m glad you’re here.

My name is Emily. I’m a twenty-something Christian with a college degree, a personality and the ability to make eye contact in conversation. For a long time, I assumed this would be enough to interest potential life partners. I entered the dating pool without artifice, looking for solid friendships and conversation that could eventually turn into something more.

That’s not how modern dating works. If you want to find a partner, you have to play the game — and the game is shaped by social media, dating apps and casual sex.

I am ill-equipped to play this game, a lesson I began learning in college when a fellow student asked for my Snapchat.

“I don’t have a Snapchat, but you can have my number!” I replied, much to his confusion.

Unbeknownst to me, I’d skipped several steps in a modern courtship ritual. When two people want to get to know each other better, they exchange social media accounts to communicate. Only when a relationship becomes more serious are phone numbers exchanged.

By prematurely offering my digits, I’d communicated an inappropriate amount of interest and completely freaked out my classmate. Safe to say he didn’t text me.

After this incident, I briefly obtained a Snapchat. Bad call. The app famous for its “disappearing” pictures is a favorite for sending nude pictures.

At first, I thought this was unique to one or two sleazy men. But I came to realize couples communicating over social media frequently exchanged explicit images, either as a precursor to a hook-up or a step toward making a relationship more serious.

I also learned that young people — particularly women — are expected to know that communicating on social media will result in some kind of proposition or unwanted image. People who send unsolicited images generally express surprise or confusion, rather than sheepishness, when their advances are (strenuously) rebuffed.

I think I deleted Snapchat within a month of downloading it. But it doesn’t change the impact social media, dating apps and casual sex had, and continues to have, on singles around me.

Most modern romantic interactions begin with the assumption that some sexual exchange will occur. Unless someone explicitly corrects this assumption, both parties interpret every word, look or gesture through this lens. If I had a nickel for every time I thought I’d made a genuine connection only to be aggressively propositioned and realize they didn’t remember my name — I’d have a lot of nickels.

The expectation of physicality comes, in part, from people’s expectation that romantic relationships form out of nothing. No longer do romantic relationships commonly spring from friendships. Single people turn to bars, dating apps and mixers to meet other people interested in a relationship. Outside these specific situations, romantic prospects are evaluated instantaneously (thank you, dating apps).

If none seem likely, the proverbial “dating glasses” come off. Singles in churches, offices and social groups stop looking for romantic relationships because they think they’ve already ruled them out.

This is the soup young people are swimming through. Many, including myself, frequently abstain from dating rather than mining for a genuine interaction in the muck.

There’s no quick solution to this problem; it’s the complex product of cultural attitudes toward sex and technology. But you can stop it from getting worse. Take time to understand the issue and show compassion to the twenty-somethings in your life. It’s wacky out here, and not all of us are lazy, spoiled or incompetent.

Additional Articles and Resources

Mapping Declining US Marriage Rates

Myths Persist: Pop Culture Wrongly Steers Women Away From Marriage

Family Scholars Explain the Current Marriage Paradox in America

Reclaiming the Truth About Marriage

Marriage Rates are Declining, But Christian Men and Women Still Very Likely to Get Married

No, Young Adults, Marriage Has Not ‘Outlived Its Usefulness’

Meta Takes Steps to Prevent Kids from Sexting

Written by Emily Washburn · Categorized: Culture, Marriage · Tagged: dating, marriage, opinion

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