Common Spirit Denied Teen Boy Medical Care After Parents Objected to Doctor’s Bizarre Questions
Multi-state health conglomerate Common Spirit refused to serve a Colorado Springs family after parents objected to a doctor’s inappropriate and ideologically driven questions.
Melissa and her husband, Carlos, are no strangers to the medical system’s disregard for parent’s rights. The devout Christian couple shuttled their four children to doctor’s appointments in several different states during Carlos’ more than 20-year military career.
So, when thirteen-year-old Ricardo needed a physical to play football, the couple gave him a heads up.
“I just asked, ‘Hey, if they ask you if they want us to leave the room, are you comfortable with that?’” Melissa explained.
Years earlier, in Virginia, doctors had asked one of their daughters if she was sexually active or used drugs — after asking Melissa to leave the room.
“She didn’t really know what to say,” she recalled her daughter’s hesitance to answer questions alone. “[But] our children [are used] to respecting their elders, so she just said, ‘Okay.’”
When Ricardo said he would be uncomfortable talking to the doctor alone, Carlos and Melissa helped him prepare to say so. Forewarned and forearmed, they hoped their respectful, shy son would feel free to be honest in a way their daughter had not.
Melissa and Carlos’ forethought paid off; the doctor, a Common Spirit employee, asked them to leave the room before she’d finished Ricardo’s physical. According to Melissa, it wasn’t much of a question:
Ricardo’s parents say they were proud and thankful when he politely declined to speak to the doctor alone, despite her obvious disapproval.
“You could tell she was annoyed by that,” Melissa remembered. “But she said, ‘Okay, I’m going to proceed with my questions.’”
The doctor asked Ricardo, “What gender do you identify as?”
Melissa says she and her husband locked eyes, baffled:
Ricardo was similarly confused. How did his doctor, who had already begun his exam, not know his sex.
“I’m a boy,” he answered, half giggling.
So far, Melissa told the Daily Citizen, she had kept her cool. But then the doctor asked, “What gender are you attracted to?”
“I felt like this was the proper time to speak up. It’s totally inappropriate,” Melissa said. She asked the doctor what her questions had to do with Ricardo’s appointment.
Carlos pressed the issue.
He believes the conversation could have proceeded much differently under different circumstances.
“If we weren’t in the room, and [Ricardo] were to say he was a member of the opposite sex, then what?” he argued. “What’s the next line of questioning? Are you going to offer [opposite-sex] hormone therapy?”
Common Spirit’s website does not clearly offer “gender-affirming” care. It does, however, financially support organizations that serve the “LGBTQIA+ community.” The website boasts several other phrases commonly associated with gender ideology, including “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” and “social justice.”
After Melissa and Carlos’ vociferous objections, the doctor left the room, claiming a nurse would return to finish Ricardo’s physical. She soon reappeared, absent a nurse, and said,
She didn’t even finish Ricardo’s exam.
Melissa called the appointment violating.
“I just felt so violated as mother,” she said. “She violated my values. It was just so wrong in so many ways.”
She continued, heartfelt,
A Common Spirit patient advocate later told the family that the doctor’s line of questioning was unusual, particularly for a routine exam. After promising to bring their case to the higher-ups, she never contacted Melissa or Carlos again.
As far as Melissa knows, the doctor, a bilingual Spanish speaker, is still practicing. She worries about the power the doctor can exercise over Spanish-speaking Christians and their families.
“We’re Latino. In our culture, we have a high respect for doctors almost immediately,” she explained. “If a non-English speaker were to bring her son to a well check, like me, she would more then likely step out of the room if the doctor asked.”
The couple advises parents to prepare themselves, and their kids, to establish firm boundaries in the doctor’s office — because they may be pushed.
They suggest parents ask kids whether they feel comfortable talking to a doctor alone before heading to the appointment. Given time to prepare themselves, they are more likely to be honest about wanting parents in the room.
If a child says they don’t mind talking to a doctor alone, Melissa says parents should be ready to begin intentional conversations about sex and gender.
Melissa and Carlos’ experience should inspire parents to proactively protect their kids from gender ideology. Focus on the Family and its allies have resources to help you do just that. Click on the links below to learn more.
Additional Articles and Resources
Equipping Parents for Back to School
Parent Resource Guide: Responding to the Transgender Issue
Protect Your Kids from ‘Trans’ Activism — Look for These Red Flags
Child’s Online Medical Records Hidden from Virginia Mom
Exclusive Interview: Colorado Parents Expose ‘Gender Cult’ at Public School in New Documentary
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