George Bailey Still Reminds us the “Best Life” Revolves Around Our Family
At the climax of the classic movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, the main character George Bailey, stands alone on a deserted bridge and contemplates taking his own life. He believes he is isolated and alone. He jumps into the icy waters only to be saved by Clarence, his guardian angel, who shows him how dramatically different his family, and community, would have been without him.
George, who as a young man, desperately wanted to leave what he perceived to be his two-bit small town, Bedford Falls, for the glamour and excitement elsewhere, comes to understand how much his life has blessed those around him. He realizes, even though he had not achieved his dreams of travel and wealth, he is truly a rich man because of the relationships comprising the fabric of day-to-day life. That is the investment that lasts long after we leave this earth.
In his 2002 book, The Marriage Problem, the late James Q. Wilson wrote, “It is not money but the family that is the foundation of public life. As it has become weaker, every structure built upon that foundation has become weaker.”
I could not help but think of those words when I came across a recent survey of parents done by YouGov and commissioned by American Compass.
Those surveyed were asked, “If you had to choose one of the following courses for your child’s life to take by the time, they reach the age of 40, which would you prefer: happily married with children but just getting by financially, or financially well-off but single with no children in the household?”
The responses they received, sadly, reflected the priorities of many Americans in 2022. While 60%, thankfully, chose “happily married with children,” 40% chose “rich, single, and childless.”
But the survey that did not stop there. It also asked, “In thinking about the type of educational program that your children could pursue, which would you prefer: one that offers the best possible career options but was far from home, or one that offers good career options close to home?” 56% said they would prefer their children to choose a good career close to home, compared to 44% choosing a better career away from home.
Is there any wonder then, based on the percentages of those who choose wealth and career over family, why our society has become increasingly fragmented, and people feel more isolated?
A good friend of mine went to a memorial service this past weekend for a man named John who had recently passed away from cancer. The man’s family was so vast that they took up the first eight rows of the church. Several his children and grandchildren came forward to give testimony to this man’s devotion his family, and it was easy to see how tight knit this family was, and the love and respect they had for their patriarch and for each other.
This man was not fabulously wealthy in terms of worldly wealth. He had owned his own insurance agency and had been successful, but in comparison to what the world views as monetary wealth, he was not rich. But he was wealthy in a way that sadly many who have worldly wealth are not. This man had familial wealth and had left a legacy for his children and grandchildren to follow.
My friend started to think about the opposite scenario, of the person who may have spent their life pursuing the “best career” regardless of where it may be, who chose to not marry but live for oneself and to estrange themselves from other family members. What would that person’s memorial service look like? What would others be saying about them?
My friend thought it would be very different. The man whose service he was attending had truly lived the “best life,” not one filled with temporary worldly riches and acclaim, but one that laid a strong familial foundation for not only those there to celebrate his life, but for those generations yet to come.
George Bailey and John – men who ultimately chose family and staying close to home over worldly wealth and dreams – truly lead the “best life.” For those parents who want their children to choose a best career far away from home and see their children rich, but childless, may George and John’s legacies be a lesson that the best life is often one of personal sacrifice, rather than worldly gain. That is the foundation that leads to stronger families and ultimately, a stronger nation, as well.
Timothy S. Goeglein is the vice president of government and external relations at Focus on the Family in Washington DC
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tim Goeglein champions God’s welcomed role in the public square. His years of public service and private initiative have been devoted to faith, freedom, and family. Tim is the Vice President for External and Government Relations at Focus on the Family in Washington DC. He served in high-level government posts for two decades. He worked as Special Assistant to President George W. Bush, where he was the Deputy Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison from 2001 to 2008. He was the President’s principal outreach contact for conservatives, think tanks, veteran’s groups, faith-based groups, and some of America’s leading cultural organizations. He was a member of the President’s original 2000 campaign and White House staff, serving for nearly 8 years. Also, he has served as a senior fellow at The Heritage Foundation and a professor of government at Liberty University. Goeglein is the author of the political memoir THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE: FAITH AND POLITICS IN THE GEORGE W. BUSH ERA (B and H Books) which was published in September, 2011. His second book is AMERICAN RESTORATION: HOW FAITH, FAMILY, AND PERSONAL SACRIFICE CAN HEAL OUR NATION (Regnery, 2019), in which he offers a roadmap to national and spiritual renewal by examining American culture. His new book is TOWARD A MORE PERFECT UNION: THE MORAL AND CULTURAL CASE FOR TEACHING THE GREAT AMERICAN STORY (Fidelis Books, 2023). From 1988 through 1998, Tim was the Deputy Press Secretary, and then Press Secretary and Communications Director, for U.S. Senator Dan Coats of Indiana (who was in the Senate for a decade). Between his time with the Senate and Bush campaign, Tim served as Communications Director for Gary Bauer in his presidential bid. Tim was an intern for then-U.S. Senator Dan Quayle in 1985, and for then-Representative Dan Coats and for NBC News in 1986, during his college years at Indiana University’s Ernie Pyle School of Journalism. When he graduated in 1986, he was the Richard Gray Fellow in his senior year. Tim’s first job upon graduation was as a television news producer for the NBC affiliate in his hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana. During high school and college, he produced a show for WOWO Radio, then owned by the Westinghouse Broadcasting Corporation. The program was heard in 28 states. Tim holds Honorary Doctorate degrees from Concordia University, New York City; and from Faith Evangelical College and Seminary, Tacoma, Washington. Tim is the secretary of the Coalitions for America board, a member of the board for the National Civic Art Society, a member of the board of Family Policy Alliance, and a member of the board of governors of the Young America’s Foundation which owns and operates the Ronald Reagan Ranch in Santa Barbara, California. Tim also serves on the Institute for American Universities Advisory Board. Goeglein served as Board Secretary of the American Conservative Union Foundation. Also, he is a member of the Council for National Policy, the Philadelphia Society, and the Capitol Hill Club. Tim serves on the Sanctity of Life Commission for his church body, the 2.5 million-member Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod; is a board member of The Lutheran Center for Religious Liberty; and has served as a deacon in his church in northern Virginia for 30 years. His hobbies include reading, tennis, swimming, biking, and the fine arts. The most important thing to know about Tim is that he is married to the love of his life, Jenny, of 31 years, and they have two sons Tim and Paul -- one in public policy and one in the fine arts and music.
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