Children

To Make Marriage and Children Great Again, We Must Make Hearts Whole Again

According to The New York Times, the Trump Administration’s efforts to increase marriage and birth rates are stalling 358 days into the president’s second term.

To buttress her case, reporter Caroline Kitchener cites the various proposals officials have talked about enacting but that have not yet happened, including legislative actions to expand tax credits, establish a “baby bonus,” and even implement something called a “honeymoon bonus” which would be geared toward extending federal benefits to low-income couples for a year following their marriage.

Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy has been mocked by some for calling the plummeting birthrate a “national security threat” — but that’s exactly what it is. A nation dropping below replacement level sets in motion a cascading series of devastating consequences ranging from its financial impact to social to even military and public safety concerns. 

Last year, Focus on the Family president Jim Daly observed, “People of faith have long championed the value of children because more children will benefit everyone.” He then warned, “It’s the declining birthrate that poses an existential threat, and it’s an issue we must address — or ignore at our peril.”

How we address that threat remains a hotly debated issue.

Ms. Kitchener quotes White House spokesperson Kush Desai as saying the White House is taking a “multifaceted approach” to the dilemma, a strategy that makes perfect sense but that also points to the limitations government and the bully pulpit have when it comes to encouraging marriage and having children.

There’s also the incredibly slow and inefficient grind of Big Brother. It’s curious that the Times is expecting so much in such a short amount of time — but also revealing they don’t disagree with the many concerns surrounding the collapsing birth rate.

Since Donald and Melania Trump took that famed golden escalator ride back in 2015, the 45th and now 47th president has repeatedly emphasized his goal of making “America Great Again.” Last month, Jim O’Neill, Deputy Secretary of Health and Human Services said HHS was striving to “make America fertile again.”

Both pledges are aspirational and inspirational, but something else must happen if marriage and children are to be once more widely honored, revered and celebrated.

American hearts need to be made whole again.

Not cardiovascular health, but the spiritual and inner life of men, women and children.

It was King Solomon who taught, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). What’s in your heart is the most significant indication of the type of life you will lead.

Couples and parents deserve to hold onto as much of their hard-earned income as possible, but financial incentives will only go so far to encourage marriage and children. It was Dr. Adrian Rogers, a Focus on the Family board member and beloved pastor, who famously quipped:

“The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.”

Men and women must recognize and come to appreciate that fulfillment in life comes from being “others” focused. Good marriages are selfless and sacrificial. They give and don’t keep score. They realize that true fulfillment comes from commitment and giving of oneself.

Good parents acknowledge that children aren’t always convenient, but they are beautiful and bring meaning to life. They also aren’t cheap — but they are priceless and invaluable. As Dr. John Trainer s wrote,

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

The solution to America’s birth dearth is multifaceted, but its cause isn’t as complex. Broken hearts and broken homes lead to broken cultures — including a reluctance to marry and have children.

King David’s plea should be ours, too:

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).

One, Big Beautiful Truth: Christians Need to Have More Children

Delegates of the Southern Baptist Convention voted overwhelmingly on Tuesday in Dallas in favor of a resolution calling for the overturning of any laws that define marriage as anything other than a union between one man and one woman.

Titled, “On Restoring Moral Clarity through God’s Design for Gender, Marriage, and Family,” the eloquent and biblically rooted document affirms numerous other truths and calls attention to various cultural challenges – including the pursuit of “willful childlessness.”

Here is the actual language:

WHEREAS, Our culture is increasingly rejecting and distorting these truths by redefining marriage, pursuing willful childlessness which contributes to a declining fertility rate, ignoring and suppressing the biological differences between male and female, encouraging gender confusion, undermining parental rights, and denying the value and dignity of children; and 

WHEREAS, Commercial surrogacy often treats children as products and women as a means to an end, and may entail the destruction of embryonic life, violating the dignity of human life and distorting God’s design for procreation within marriage;

WHEREAS, Christians are called to grieve with and support couples who struggle with infertility and to uphold moral and compassionate paths to parenthood that protect human dignity;

At first, the pursuit of “willful childlessness” sounds almost oxymoronic, but we all know what that means: married couples who could presumably conceive children are deliberately deciding not to and for not very good reasons.

At the top of the list of reasons couples often give for not having children is the “burden” they supposedly introduce to personal freedom. Then there are the financial obligations. Media loves to quote how much it costs to raise a child from birth to adulthood. It’s always an eye-popping number but also void of context and the fact that children truly are “cheaper by the dozen.” 

Other reasons for the collapsing birth rate include prioritization of career over family – and the obvious observation that fewer marriages inevitably lead to fewer children being born.

Scripture is crystal clear that “Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5).

Within the Christian community, there is a broad spectrum of conviction regarding family planning and the conception of children is the most deeply intimate and personal aspect of the marital union. At the same time, Christians should be in full agreement that children are a blessing and not a burden. Going into marriage, and barring any unusual circumstances, the desire for children should be the norm and not the exception.

The Christian birth rate (1.9-2.2 children depending on the study) in the United States is slightly higher than the overall fertility rate (1.7) – but only slightly. As such, the Church would be wise to prioritize the biblically sound and culturally critical message that believing couples should prayerfully and bravely be open to having more children.

Observed Benjamin Franklin, “He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too.”

For months now we’ve been hearing a lot about the “One, Big, Beautiful Bill” – legislation that promises to enact wide sweeping positive changes in the tax code, including the defunding of Planned Parenthood and an increase in the Child Tax Credit. But the “One, Big Beautiful Truth” is that the health and prosperity of America correlates with the vitality of the family – and we need Christian families with lots of children to truly thrive as a nation.

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