Mother's Day

Call Your Mother While You Still Can

According to the most recent statistics, there are upwards of 85 million mothers in America.

Motherhood has changed quite a bit over the years. Compared with past generations, fewer of them are married, they tend to delay having children, have fewer of them, and are more likely to work outside the home.

Contrast a mother in 2025 with one in 1955, and there’s a good chance their lifestyles will vary, and by a lot. Moms in the 50s probably didn’t stop at Starbucks, wear yoga pants, go to the gym, or post photographs on Facebook.

But you can be sure mothers were and are equally devoted to their children, gladly and readily sacrifice for them, lose sleep over them, and fervently pray for their well being.

Gaspard Mermillod, a 19th century Swiss bishop, said it well:

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.”

Mothers are irreplaceable. They care us inside their body for the first nine months and then carry us in their hearts and minds every day until they die.

As we prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday, and if you’re blessed to still have your mom with you this side of eternity, you might be struggling or even burdened to find her the right gift. You know best, but here’s an idea. Instead of focusing on honoring your mother this weekend, commit to honoring her the other 364 days of the year too.

It’s interesting that God commands us to honor our father and mother, and even before telling us not to murder, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness or covet (Exodus 20:12-17). We’re told that doing so doesn’t just honor them, but also help us “live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

Tragically, we’ve seen an increase in adult children estranging themselves from their parents. In rare cases, this could be due to personal safety concerns. In most other instances, it’s due to a personal grievance, a political or theological difference of opinion, or unresolved bitterness. It’s often due more to a misunderstanding than some malevolently motivated behavior.

Since we’re focused on moms this week, perhaps the very best way to honor your mother is to live in a manner that reflects the ideals and principles she taught you from the very beginning.

In this age of texting, call your mother. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, but you might not fully appreciate how much she enjoys hearing your voice. She thinks about you more than you realize, prays for you when you’re sleeping, worries about you when you’re awake – and loves any opportunity to talk with you and hear about your life.

You can’t thank your mother enough. She doesn’t need to hear the words, but is happy when she does.

Share good memories with your mom – maybe the first one or even the last one. It tells her she made a positive impression. Everybody likes to be remembered. It might not be the traditional high points but instead a picnic in the neighborhood park, a conversation over breakfast, maybe the car ride to church or your Little League game. It’s often the serendipitous moments that create the most lasting memories.

Mothers feel our pains and share our joys. Sons or daughters can give their moms both. 

The day is coming when you won’t be able to call your mom, stop in for a visit, or write her a note. But if she’s still alive, you still can – and you should.

Image from Shutterstock.

More, New Research in Praise of Mothers

In the most basic sense, moms make families. Certainly, a man cannot make a family without a woman. And it is not a wise idea for a woman to try to start a family without a man. But a mother is the central and necessary ingredient of family formation, for she is the one that gives life to the next generation. And families, by definition, are always about the next generation.

Our friends at the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) have just published a very thoughtful array of articles on the status and importance of marriage and mothers that are worthy of our attention as we roll up to Mother’s Day.

The first is by Erica Komisar, a Jewish psychoanalyst in private practice in Manhattan and the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.

Komisar notes a fundamental human truth: “Healthy mothers are not extraneous, fungible, or interchangeable with fathers—they are unique, critical to a child’s emotional security and future mental health.” Mothers are powerful because of their femininity and that they are notably distinct from father.

She explains that mothers, “Provide sensitive and empathic nurturing, which is the foundation of compassion for others. They are selfless, which models the ability to sacrifice for one’s own children in the future. Their unique brand of unconditional love is unlike any other love you will ever feel in your life.”

Komisar wisely observes, “We have forgotten so much wisdom about the importance of mothers in a time when women are only seen as valuable for their contributions to the economy of the household rather than to the emotional capital of the family.”

As Mother’s Day approaches, she encourages all of us to “remember that a mother’s love is unique and critically important to the development of a child’s sense of themselves as valuable and loveable — but also to their empathy, their capacity to think about and feel for others, and their deep emotional ability to relate to and be intimate with others.”

The second great article from IFS on mothers is a research-based piece answering Chappell Roan’s silly comment that motherhood is a hell scape. This article explains that despite occasional ill-informed negative reports about mother’s happiness, it turns out that married mothers are actually quite happy with their lives. Much happier than any of their peers. IFS data shows “Married parents are over twice as likely (37%) to report being very happy as unmarried parents (16%).”

When we look specifically at moms, the numbers are even stronger. Seventy-five percent of married moms with kids report being either “very happy” or “pretty happy” while only 57% of unmarried women without kids report the same thing. Married moms were more than twice as likely than their unmarried, no-kids peers to say they are “very happy.”

IFS explains that gold standard social science data, the General Social Survey (GSS), shows that from 2018 to 2022, married parents reported higher levels of happiness than all of their peers in other relational situations. The GSS also showed that married mothers are more than twice as likely to report being “very happy” compared to unmarried parents, a differential of 37 and 16%.

The third article on moms from IFS shows how moms are using technology and remote work to enhance their life experiences as mothers. Clearly more mothers with young children are working either part- or full-time, an increase from 8% of all moms in 1940 to 68% in 2024. Much of this rise is found in full-time work. Those working part-time have remained generally steady at 15% since 1980.

The other big change is where mothers actually work. More of them are doing full-time employment work – but doing it from home. The IFS authors explain,

“Between 2019 and 2023, the share of mothers working mostly in-person decreased by 7 percentage points, while the share working mostly at home rose by 7 percentage points. That’s a change of nearly one million mothers moving from in-person to remote work. “

The overall decline in out-of-home work versus at-home-work growth for moms looks like this.

Not surprisingly, they report, “We found that moms who work from home spend significantly more time with their young children compared to moms who work in-person.” They also spend triple the time with their spouse compared to moms who work outside of the home, an average of 3.6 hours a day compared to only 1.6.

IFS explains, “The flexibility from remote work allows a family unit to better handle the inevitable but unpredictable shocks of family life and generally operate more smoothly.” They note, “Technological change has often been, historically, injurious to the family. But for many, remote work is a welcome exception.”

The final motherhood article from the IFS scholars address how poverty among single mothers has remained persistent even as women have gained more benefits in society. This article is an excerpted section from sociologists Nicholas Wolfinger and Matthew McKeever’s new book, Thanks for Nothing: The Economics of Single Motherhood Since 1980,published by Oxford University Press. They find that “women who give birth out of wedlock suffer from pervasive disadvantage that cannot be explained by their basic social and demographic attributes.”

The income differentials for married, divorced and never-married moms from 1980 to 2020 look like this:

Never married moms have shown almost no gains in household income over the last forty years compared to dramatic and consistent gains for married mothers, with divorced mothers sitting somewhere in between.

A key theme in each of these articles is how married motherhood is benefiting women, their children and society in deeper and richer ways than most in society fully appreciate.

This means our appreciation for our moms this Mother’s Day can be more fully informed for the blessing they are to each of us.

Related Articles and Resources

A Uniquely Christian Understanding of the World-Shifting Power of Motherhood

No, Chappell Roan, Motherhood is Not Hell

Thoughts About Mothers

The Important Parenting Differences Between Moms and Dads

Image from Shutterstock.