In question and answer section on Slate’s website, a man admits that he’s uncomfortable with the fact that his medical student girlfriend performs abortions and wants to become a professional abortionist.

Men are consistently told by the Left that they need to support a woman’s right to choose, but how this looks is complex. They must be vocally supportive, but only when it’s convenient for the pro-abortion movement. They must agree with their partner’s decision to have an abortion, and if they disagree then they become another example of the repressive patriarchy and are vilified. Basically, in the abortion debate, men can’t win.

That’s what makes one man’s question to Slate so interesting. He is a man who admits that though he believes he is “pro-choice,” he isn’t comfortable with the fact that his girlfriend will be performing abortions on a regular basis when she graduates.

He writes, “I’ve been dating a medical student for four years (she’s in her last year now). She eventually decided to specialize as an OB-GYN, particularly in reproductive rights and abortion care. Theoretically, I’m all for this. I’m a pro-choice liberal too, and as someone who will probably be her future husband, I know it’s important to support her career choices. Right now she’s only assisting with abortions, but once she graduates, she’ll be doing them independently nearly every day. I hate that I’m saying this, but the ethics of this decision make me feel squeamish. I believe abortions should be safely available to all folks who want them. But sleeping next to someone who does that procedure day in and day out is taking a toll. I absolutely cannot bring it up because a huge part of her value system is being pro-choice and preparing to provide abortions for those who could not otherwise safely access them. I feel so horrible for having this hang-up. What should I do? Is there a way I can fix this by myself so I can be the supportive partner she deserves?”

He signed it, “Uneasy Supportive.”

Slate’s response read in part, “It’s worth getting specific about what’s bothering you. Where exactly does your support turn into discomfort? Is it the ‘day in and day out’ part? Would you feel more comfortable dating someone who assisted with abortions once a month? Do you feel like abortion access is important in theory but have some unexamined sense that it ought to take place less often than it does? Are you concerned about her safety or the judgment of others? Is it a NIMBY thing—’Someone should be providing people with abortions, but I don’t want to know whoever that someone is’?…If this actually turns out to be a difference in values, better to have it out now, before you get married.”

While, to Slade’s credit, it doesn’t immediately attack him for not being 100% on-board, “Uneasy Supportive’s” struggle is completely understandable. Abortion in theory is much different than living with it “day in and day out.” I’m sure, to a certain extent, he may almost feel complicit in their deaths.

Abortion is the intentional act of ending the life of a preborn baby, usually for selfish reasons. This is an issue that now seems to weigh heavily on him. There’s an undeniable darkness to the abortion industry, and a callousness to the women and men who make it their sole profession.

God designed men as protectors, and, hopefully, this experience may encourage him to realize the preciousness of life and he may move in a more pro-life direction. His feelings may influence her as well.

The radical pro-abortion movement wants to keep men mostly silent when it comes to this issue because they want women to feel alone and malleable to the machinations of the abortion industry. But if more men stood up and made an effort to support women in unplanned pregnancies, and protect life in general, thousands if not tens of thousands of babies would be saved.


For men who have been involved in an abortion, Focus on the Family has resources that may help. Find out more here.


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