When Spouses Disagree on the Most Important Things

The Bible is clear that Christians should not marry unbelievers, but what about when it comes to differences of opinion over issues of morality?

Writing to the church at Corinth, the apostle Paul cautioned, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).

Focus on the Family regularly serves couples navigating this spiritual divide, especially given how often one spouse may become a Christian after marriage while the other remains an unbeliever. Bestselling author and popular show guest Lee Strobel writes about the ordeal he put his wife through after she was saved. In fact, he remained angrily obstinate and considered divorce.

Lee writes that his wife Leslie’s conversion to Christianity was “the opening salvo in what turned out to be a turbulent, emotion-churning phase of our marriage.” He went on to say, “Our values began to clash, our attitudes started to conflict, and our priorities and desires were suddenly at odds. More than once, I let my frustration with Leslie’s relationship with Christ spill over into a tirade of shouting and door slamming.”

Lee’s now-famous and successful search for God’s truth resolved their dilemma, but that happy ending doesn’t always happen.

Perhaps equally or even more common are spousal differences over public policy. It’s one thing for a husband and wife to see things differently when it comes to trade policies, tariffs and taxes – but abortion?

Well, it now appears that over the course of the last half century, America has never had a pro-life First Lady. In every administration since the mid 1970s, even if the president espoused pro-life views, his wife did not.

In some ways, this cold fact exposes one of the great challenges we face as a nation.

Despite long suggesting or hoping that a silent pro-life electorate was growing in the United States, it now appears that we’re far from it. Since the Supreme Court reversed Roe in June of 2022, every time the issue of abortion has been put to a vote in states, voters have supported a so-called right to it.

Voters in ten states this November will have an opportunity to reverse this troubling trend. Ballot initiatives in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New York and South Dakota are all attempting to codify abortion “rights” in state laws. A dueling pro-life initiative in Nebraska is also on the ballot.

That so many high-profile women have historically opposed the protection of preborn life is heartbreaking and tragic on many levels.

At the very top of the list is the squandering of such a prominent platform. The enormous good that a first lady can do in her role is significant. Scared and vulnerable young mothers (and young fathers) are hungry for role models, and sometimes a strong and encouraging word can go a long way in helping them see the value in the life of their child and innumerable benefits they’ll receive by carrying their baby to term.

It’s a curious thing that women who are already mothers, who have nurtured and carried their children in their wombs for nine months, who have held newborn babies in their arms, and watched those children grow into beautiful adults – how can they support the killing of children exactly like their own?

As pro-life Christians, these perplexing and sober realities should remind us of the tremendous work yet to be done. It might also convict us to pray for those who see things very differently, to pray that their hearts might be opened to the wonder and wisdom of supporting policies that protect every life, even those yet born.

 

Image from Shutterstock.

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