Only 4 States Still Have “Alienation of Affection” Laws

Can an individual be sued for participating in an extramarital affair that then leads to the breakup of a marriage?

The answer is “yes” if the impacted party lives in one of four states: North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota and Hawaii.

Known as “alienation of affection,” “heart balm” or “homewrecker” laws, they find their origins in English common law dating back to the 17th and 18th centuries. They became commonplace in the United States by the 1800s and early 1900s.

While relatively rare, the occasional case in one of the four states will sometimes make headlines – as in a recent filing involving former U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema.

The one-time Arizona lawmaker is being sued by a North Carolina woman named Heather Ammel. Ms. Sinema has admitted to a sexual relationship with Matthew Ammel, Heather’s former husband. But she says they never engaged in sex in North Carolina, so the suit is invalid. The suit from Heather Ammel alleges the actions led to the breakup of their 14-year marriage.

The lawsuit also alleges that Matthew Ammel, who was on former Senator Sinema’s security detail at the time, was seduced by her and that the relationship began with her sending Ammel “romantic and lascivious” messages.

While the Ammels have since divorced, Heather Ammel is seeking $75,000 in damages from Sinema. In response, the former senator has filed a motion asking the court to dismiss the case, claiming North Carolina doesn’t have any legal authority over the situation as the sexual behavior never took place in North Carolina. The court has yet to render a decision.

Incidentally, while the House of Representatives passed a resolution banning members from having a sexual relationship with employees, the Senate doesn’t have the same such restrictions. However, the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Ethics does have a rule that prohibits “conflicts of interest or the appearance of a conflict of interest.” Obviously, sexual relationships with subordinates inevitably lead to all kinds of egregious and damaging circumstances – including the breakup of marriages.

“Alienation of affection” laws began losing popularity in the early part of the 20th century for several reasons: a rise in blackmail and extortion, embarrassing litigation and concern that too many people were trying to monetize the collapse of a marriage.

Juries in North Carolina, where the law is still on the books, have been known to award tremendous judgments in cases where offense has been found. In 2011, Carol Puryear was awarded $30 million after another woman gave her husband her phone number at a funeral. Two other recent cases resulted in $8 million and $9 million payments. 

The four states where such laws remain on the books recognize that marriage is a legally and contractually protected relationship. They are acknowledging that adultery causes considerable and devastating harm to all parties involved, especially children. While no amount of money can restore or repair the damage that sexual infidelity causes, the law provides some degree of relief to its victims.

Laws that deter, discourage and disincentivize adultery and the resulting breakup of families are a very good thing. Just because 46 states have moved away from “alienation of affection” laws is no reason why they couldn’t and shouldn’t reinstate them.

It is a conversation and debate worth having.